Wisdom From Mothers Before Us - Naomi

Wisdom From Mothers Before Us #WFMB-02

Name: Naomi Quijano       

 Age: 33

 Location: Los Alamitos, CA

 Number of children & ages:

Milo Bourbon Quijano age 7         

Luna Monroe Quijano age 2

Rhema Glory Quijano age 2 months

What are three things you value as a woman?

(1) Self-care (Sabbath) (2) Community (3) Vulnerability

How has the woman you were while single impacted who you are as a mother?

The woman I was while single was definitely independent and strong. As a mother, it has helped me to impart strength, independence and confidence in my children. I have an awareness to the vital attributes I want my kids to carry. Also, I realized when I was single just how selfish I was with my time, finances, and resources. My single season has assisted me in becoming aware of the importance of generosity.

How has your past family dynamic impacted who you are today?

I grew up with a very emotionally absent father and a mother who worked three jobs. One of the main reasons I fell in love with my husband was because of his emotional awareness and sensitivity. He has always been very present and protective. Both of our work ethics are strong and our children see that we both value hard work, family time, and structure. Growing up, I’ve always had a very close relationship with my mom and our family has always been involved.

What traditions did you experience growing up that you are passing on/ would like to pass on to your family?

Traditions I experienced were family dinners with conversations and no devices. Birthday cake and ice cream with all of our family no matter what age; and Church service together for Mothers day, Fathers day, Christmas and New Years. The traditions we passed on are family breakfasts on Saturdays and church together for weekends.

What was your career path before you were a mother? How has motherhood impacted/enhanced your career journey?

I was already in ministry at a very young age and motherhood has enhanced in me a capacity for compassion, understanding, and encouragement. I’ve seen just how diverse each child is and I am able to have a full understanding of perspective, teaching/learning, and insane multitasking.

What are some expectations you had about motherhood?

I had expected to open a new range of emotions, shifting perspectives, and a new level of understanding intimacy.

Knowing what you know now is there something you would have done differently to prepare for motherhood?

I would’ve asked more questions to older mothers and submerged myself in a mom community prior to having kids.

Share one way your community has impacted you while transitioning as a new mom?

They have supported me emotionally, physically and mentally. My mom community has championed me in every season of motherhood, helped impart wisdom and support, prayer and grace when I need it. They have been the anchor in my season of motherhood.

What makes you most fulfilled in your role as a mother?

When my child desires to spend time with me and have my undivided attention. I love the curiosity when kids ask me questions. The safety they feel when they show emotion or concern with me.

Your advice for women who are single/married without children would be?

If you’re single without children, connect yourself to a healthy community of women and moms if you desire children. Do not see your current season of singleness as lacking something. Take the time to grow in your spiritual disciplines. Savor your time, sleep, and see joy in the season of it just being you.

If you’re married without children establish your foundation of prayer with your spouse. Be sensitive to your spouses expectations of a life with kids. Ensure you know each others expectations of when you do have kids. See the season without kids as an investment in your future. Seek accountability and understand that emotional and mental health need to be a priority.

Photo Credit: Psalms Thirty Four

Identity Rooted In Places Unseen

Identity Rooted In Places Unseen

Poem By: Itoro E. Udofia

SINGLE. And waiting to be chosen. Preparing for marriage. Yielding to purpose. Navigating career. Gaining strength from knowing self. Looking deep and standing firm. Drawing close and seeing far. Moving in truth. Identity rooted in places unseen.

MARRIED.  And wondering about when. Preparing for future children. Two lives becoming one. Building up and stretching wide. Making room and holding on. Creating home from values shared. Love on display.  Identity rooted in places unseen.

PREGNANT. And welcoming the unknown. Preparing for the role of mother. Holding space and keeping heart. Dreams awakened. Wisdom imparted. Shape the soul of future generations. Embracing community. Identity rooted in places unseen.

Liberty Is Available

Liberty is available

The question isn’t whether you have access to it. Rather what choices will be made to honor the freedom’s available to you?

“Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

-2 Corinthians 2:17

Storytelling To Capture A Spiritual Legacy

Make monuments in your life. In the old testament people were told to build monuments as reminders of a certain experience. This was done to capture a moment in time. Others after them, were dependent on these stories.

Who will be depending on you? We walk through life and collect experiences. Are we aware of how much these experiences matter? Seek out the opportunities around you. There is treasure there. Look for it.

Some things to think about while uncovering the monuments in your life…

What is the story?

Reflect on how you are framing things for others and yourself.

Who does the story point to?

Focus on God, His characteristics or kingdom principles that can be highlighted.

How can the story live on?

Write it down. Keep the story before you and choose to inspire others by giving it a voice.

Do You See Her? Why Some Women Were Emotional On Mother’s Day

May is the month for global maternal mental health awareness.  It’s also the month many celebrate Mother’s Day. Some women were emotional while receiving gifts and being honored, not because they appreciate the recognition from others for doing a job well done, but rather they have deep insecurities, shame and guilt about how they feel they are performing in their role as a mother.  

Do you see her? Behind the smile and laughter is a woman who longs to be understood and heard.

Someone who wonders if the decisions made about balancing career and family are commendable. A person who questions if she’s good enough. A woman who has only so much to give and fears that she is losing herself in the process.

To those women transitioning and embracing the complexities of joy and pain, and the tension between highs and lows. To the one who sees black and grey while longing for hues of orange and yellow. Know this. Others before you have made it to the other side, they can take a step back and gaze at the artistry of a life transformed by the life another.

You are seen. You are heard.  Walk your path and embrace your journey.

God is with you now and always.

Why, my soul are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.- Psalms 42: 11

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41: 10

Note: For those who want more information on baby blues, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety or other maternal mental health topics here are a few places to start.

Postpartum Support International (PSI) www.postpartum.net

Maternal Mental Health NOW www.maternalmentalhealthnow.org

Disclaimer: The above organizations are listed as a source of general information about maternal mental health and are not endorsed by Mother Maybe & Co.

One Unique Way To Celebrate Mother's Day: "My 20 Lessons"

This Sunday people will gather around to celebrate Mother’s Day. Many meals will be shared, gifts given, and time spent to honor women who’ve given of themselves beyond measure. One way to express gratitude to another is by showing how their life impacted your own.

These sentiments are traditionally expressed with words carefully ascribed on cards surrounded by beautiful design. Endearing as this may be, people know they matter most, when they are aware of how they directly influence you. Here is one creative way to communicate the depths of your soul.

My 20 Lessons

Step 1:

Write down twenty different lessons you learned from your mother throughout different stages of your life. Begin with lessons learned from childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and so on.

Step 2:

Purchase twenty cards that are blank inside and write one lesson in each one. Put each card in an envelope and on each envelope write Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 etc.  in the order of the lessons learned from childhood through adulthood.

Step 3:

Place all of the cards (enclosed in an envelope) in a box with instructions for opening the gift over the next 20 days.

Example Instructions: “Mom this is my gift to you: My 20 lessons. Please open the first card with the envelope entitled “Day 1” on Mother’s Day, May 12th. The second card on Monday May 13th and on each day open only one card until you’ve opened all twenty!”

My 20 lessons as a gift should provoke great conversation, reflection, and laughter for days to come. Make wonderful memories and if tears are involved so be it!