Identity Rooted In Places Unseen

Identity Rooted In Places Unseen

Poem By: Itoro E. Udofia

SINGLE. And waiting to be chosen. Preparing for marriage. Yielding to purpose. Navigating career. Gaining strength from knowing self. Looking deep and standing firm. Drawing close and seeing far. Moving in truth. Identity rooted in places unseen.

MARRIED.  And wondering about when. Preparing for future children. Two lives becoming one. Building up and stretching wide. Making room and holding on. Creating home from values shared. Love on display.  Identity rooted in places unseen.

PREGNANT. And welcoming the unknown. Preparing for the role of mother. Holding space and keeping heart. Dreams awakened. Wisdom imparted. Shape the soul of future generations. Embracing community. Identity rooted in places unseen.

You Must Do The Thing You Think You Cannot Do

Do You See Her? Why Some Women Were Emotional On Mother’s Day

May is the month for global maternal mental health awareness.  It’s also the month many celebrate Mother’s Day. Some women were emotional while receiving gifts and being honored, not because they appreciate the recognition from others for doing a job well done, but rather they have deep insecurities, shame and guilt about how they feel they are performing in their role as a mother.  

Do you see her? Behind the smile and laughter is a woman who longs to be understood and heard.

Someone who wonders if the decisions made about balancing career and family are commendable. A person who questions if she’s good enough. A woman who has only so much to give and fears that she is losing herself in the process.

To those women transitioning and embracing the complexities of joy and pain, and the tension between highs and lows. To the one who sees black and grey while longing for hues of orange and yellow. Know this. Others before you have made it to the other side, they can take a step back and gaze at the artistry of a life transformed by the life another.

You are seen. You are heard.  Walk your path and embrace your journey.

God is with you now and always.

Why, my soul are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.- Psalms 42: 11

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41: 10

Note: For those who want more information on baby blues, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety or other maternal mental health topics here are a few places to start.

Postpartum Support International (PSI) www.postpartum.net

Maternal Mental Health NOW www.maternalmentalhealthnow.org

Disclaimer: The above organizations are listed as a source of general information about maternal mental health and are not endorsed by Mother Maybe & Co.

Finding A Road Map To Community

Human connection is a basic need. Many women build networks to advance their career. Universities offer guidelines for professional development and pathways to success. Shared experiences are necessary. Research over the years has produced time frames for when a child should crawl, walk, and talk. These developmental milestones are known and familiar.

Expectations offer structure and a point of reference. There is safety here. So, where is the road map to the place of belonging? Community. All of us need it, mothers especially.

The relational connections that surround us, will be a well to draw from in times of need. A common misconception when building community is that similarities prevail. On the contrary, diverse experiences offer a richness worth discovering.

While reflecting on the depth and quality of relationships many ask the question, “Can I trust them with my life?” Perhaps the question should be, “Can I entrust their life to my child?”

For community, there doesn’t seem to be a road map, just moments of faith expressed in time. People learning, growing and connecting. Embracing the simplicity of what it means to be human and fully alive.

Advocating For The Unborn: Why Paid Family Leave Policies Matter For The U.S.

On Wednesday, May 8th paid family leave will be at the fore front in Washington, D.C. when the House Ways & Means Committee holds a hearing on paid family leave.  The United States is the only industrialized country that doesn’t guarantee its citizens Paid Family Leave. Things differ by state, California for example provides up to 6 weeks of partial pay to employees who take time off from work to care for a seriously ill family member or to bond with a new child.

New mothers are often faced with the decision to either bond with their children or go back to work during a critical time of development for the newborn and immense transition for the family. Most households require two incomes to offset the cost of living, further complicating matters.  As a result, many new families are negatively impacted and experience stressors that paid family leave policies can mitigate.

The concept of paid family leave has garnered attention globally. Let’s think about the unborn. The decisions made today will impact those of tomorrow. Children deserve the opportunity to thrive and parents need support in the form of national policies.

One Unique Way To Celebrate Mother's Day: "My 20 Lessons"

This Sunday people will gather around to celebrate Mother’s Day. Many meals will be shared, gifts given, and time spent to honor women who’ve given of themselves beyond measure. One way to express gratitude to another is by showing how their life impacted your own.

These sentiments are traditionally expressed with words carefully ascribed on cards surrounded by beautiful design. Endearing as this may be, people know they matter most, when they are aware of how they directly influence you. Here is one creative way to communicate the depths of your soul.

My 20 Lessons

Step 1:

Write down twenty different lessons you learned from your mother throughout different stages of your life. Begin with lessons learned from childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and so on.

Step 2:

Purchase twenty cards that are blank inside and write one lesson in each one. Put each card in an envelope and on each envelope write Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 etc.  in the order of the lessons learned from childhood through adulthood.

Step 3:

Place all of the cards (enclosed in an envelope) in a box with instructions for opening the gift over the next 20 days.

Example Instructions: “Mom this is my gift to you: My 20 lessons. Please open the first card with the envelope entitled “Day 1” on Mother’s Day, May 12th. The second card on Monday May 13th and on each day open only one card until you’ve opened all twenty!”

My 20 lessons as a gift should provoke great conversation, reflection, and laughter for days to come. Make wonderful memories and if tears are involved so be it!

Three Actions For Women After Watching The Film Kingdom Men Rising

I watched the film Kingdom Men Rising, a documentary produced by Tony Evans Films on Monday, April 29th.  It’s Wednesday May 1st and I’m still in deep thought. This position of reflection has everything to do with the way the topics of marriage, parenting, church culture, discipleship, accountability and mentorship were displayed. Everyone was challenged to do something with the life given to them. To be intentional with becoming a kingdom man. To rediscover their purpose in relation to God and embrace the mandate of impacting the next generation.

As a woman soaking in the experiences of various men featured in the film, I was privileged to behold such vulnerability. I felt as if I was invited into the man cave and asked to stay for a while. Such care and tact around sensitive topics fueled my curiosity to learn more. Beyond collecting another experience of great content in the form of film I wanted to make a commitment to act on what I knew.  How can women respond to Kingdom Men Rising?  What role can we play in the development of kingdom men? 

While men walk through life and navigate their self -concept amid cultural expectations, single and married women can play their part in facilitating this growth process.

Three actions women can take in response to the film:

Create Moments of Impact:

In the varied atmospheres you find yourself, you are surrounded by men. Take notice of what you see. The character attributes of a kingdom man are on display. Make a choice to acknowledge those who show up and engage in life with intention. Your words are powerful and can produce life. Use them wisely.

Show Up Differently:

Choose to communicate needs and expectations clearly and often. Men are given the opportunity to respond when those around them engage authentically. When your needs and expectations align with christian values and support a kingdom agenda you can reinforce the characteristics of a Kingdom man.    

Look For Treasure:

Stories are a passport to the future. Hold on to the legacy of men who’ve come before you. Consider christian men whose lives can inspire others to live boldly and intentionally. Share these stories of faithfulness and spiritual fortitude to those who cross your path.

Kingdom Men Rising was featured in select theaters for only two days, April 29th and 30th. If the film makes it to DVD, do yourself a favor and buy it.  This is one to hold onto for your spouse, future husband, son and the men in your life as they walk out their journey of becoming a kingdom man.