Single Women

Wisdom From Mothers Before Us - Naomi

Naomi Quijano Headshot- WFMBU-02- Mother Maybe.jpg

Wisdom From Mothers Before Us #WFMB-02

Name: Naomi Quijano       

 Age: 33

 Location: Los Alamitos, CA

 Number of children & ages:

Milo Bourbon Quijano age 7         

Luna Monroe Quijano age 2

Rhema Glory Quijano age 2 months


What are three things you value as a woman?

(1) Self-care (Sabbath) (2) Community (3) Vulnerability

How has the woman you were while single impacted who you are as a mother?

The woman I was while single was definitely independent and strong. As a mother, it has helped me to impart strength, independence and confidence in my children. I have an awareness to the vital attributes I want my kids to carry. Also, I realized when I was single just how selfish I was with my time, finances, and resources. My single season has assisted me in becoming aware of the importance of generosity.

 

How has your past family dynamic impacted who you are today?

I grew up with a very emotionally absent father and a mother who worked three jobs. One of the main reasons I fell in love with my husband was because of his emotional awareness and sensitivity. He has always been very present and protective. Both of our work ethics are strong and our children see that we both value hard work, family time, and structure. Growing up, I’ve always had a very close relationship with my mom and our family has always been involved.

Wisdom From Mothers Before Us Quote- (1) Naomi #WFMBU-02.jpg

 

What traditions did you experience growing up that you are passing on/ would like to pass on to your family?

Traditions I experienced were family dinners with conversations and no devices. Birthday cake and ice cream with all of our family no matter what age; and Church service together for Mothers day, Fathers day, Christmas and New Years. The traditions we passed on are family breakfasts on Saturdays and church together for weekends.

What was your career path before you were a mother? How has motherhood impacted/enhanced your career journey?

I was already in ministry at a very young age and motherhood has enhanced in me a capacity for compassion, understanding, and encouragement. I’ve seen just how diverse each child is and I am able to have a full understanding of perspective, teaching/learning, and insane multitasking.

What are some expectations you had about motherhood?

I had expected to open a new range of emotions, shifting perspectives, and a new level of understanding intimacy.

Knowing what you know now is there something you would have done differently to prepare for motherhood?

I would’ve asked more questions to older mothers and submerged myself in a mom community prior to having kids.

Wisdom From Mothers Before Us Quote (2) - Naomi #WFMBU-02.jpg

 

Share one way your community has impacted you while transitioning as a new mom?

They have supported me emotionally, physically and mentally. My mom community has championed me in every season of motherhood, helped impart wisdom and support, prayer and grace when I need it. They have been the anchor in my season of motherhood.

What makes you most fulfilled in your role as a mother?

When my child desires to spend time with me and have my undivided attention. I love the curiosity when kids ask me questions. The safety they feel when they show emotion or concern with me.

Your advice for women who are single/married without children would be?

If you’re single without children, connect yourself to a healthy community of women and moms if you desire children. Do not see your current season of singleness as lacking something. Take the time to grow in your spiritual disciplines. Savor your time, sleep, and see joy in the season of it just being you.

If you’re married without children establish your foundation of prayer with your spouse. Be sensitive to your spouses expectations of a life with kids. Ensure you know each others expectations of when you do have kids. See the season without kids as an investment in your future. Seek accountability and understand that emotional and mental health need to be a priority.

Photo Credit: Psalms Thirty Four

Identity Rooted In Places Unseen

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MARRIED- 3 Part Poem- Mother Maybe.jpg
PREGNANT- 3 Part Poem- Mother Maybe.jpg

Identity Rooted In Places Unseen

Poem By: Itoro E. Udofia

SINGLE. And waiting to be chosen. Preparing for marriage. Yielding to purpose. Navigating career. Gaining strength from knowing self. Looking deep and standing firm. Drawing close and seeing far. Moving in truth. Identity rooted in places unseen.

MARRIED.  And wondering about when. Preparing for future children. Two lives becoming one. Building up and stretching wide. Making room and holding on. Creating home from values shared. Love on display.  Identity rooted in places unseen.

PREGNANT. And welcoming the unknown. Preparing for the role of mother. Holding space and keeping heart. Dreams awakened. Wisdom imparted. Shape the soul of future generations. Embracing community. Identity rooted in places unseen.

 

Finding A Road Map To Community

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Human connection is a basic need. Many women build networks to advance their career. Universities offer guidelines for professional development and pathways to success. Shared experiences are necessary. Research over the years has produced time frames for when a child should crawl, walk, and talk. These developmental milestones are known and familiar.

Expectations offer structure and a point of reference. There is safety here. So, where is the road map to the place of belonging? Community. All of us need it, mothers especially.

The relational connections that surround us, will be a well to draw from in times of need. A common misconception when building community is that similarities prevail. On the contrary, diverse experiences offer a richness worth discovering.

While reflecting on the depth and quality of relationships many ask the question, “Can I trust them with my life?” Perhaps the question should be, “Can I entrust their life to my child?”

For community, there doesn’t seem to be a road map, just moments of faith expressed in time. People learning, growing and connecting. Embracing the simplicity of what it means to be human and fully alive.